You know what I really feel? I feel like I need to be all fucking alone in this world, I need to fall madly and deeply in love with… Myself. It’s true that I have been absolutely emotionally murdered by the people in my life that I trusted the most. They shattered my heart in a million pieces. And took what was left and stomped the shit out of it. Yeah I’m what they call a “battered woman”. An absolute mess. A beautiful disaster. I have every reason to give up on myself just like they gave up on me… But I won’t. I refuse to. I refuse to let them tell me that I am anything less then amazing. I had someone tell me the other day that “you carry yourself like someone hurt you one too many times and left you alone to pick up the pieces” … Your right they did. Or he did should I say but guess what? I picked up every fucking piece and put that stupid heart of mine back together. All by myself. And that itself is more admirable then anything else I have ever seen anyone in my life do. Yeah I may still be working on my confidence, on my self-worth. But who could blame me after all that my heart and soul have been through. But for the first time in awhile I believe in MYSELF. Not him. Not her. Not anybody but myself. Because the truth is in someway or another that everyone will let you down and watch you bleed, but you control whether YOU let yourself down. And I am not letting myself down, I’m not letting the stupid bull shit. ass hole judgement of society and the people who came and entered my life like it was some revolving door contemplate my own love story with myself. So cheers. Cheers to me and finding my own happiness without anyone to tell me that I am anything less then perfect. My own definition of… Perfect.